THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
