i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
