I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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