I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
