3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
