I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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