Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
