just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
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