I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
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