If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
When are your genitals available?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
