the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
