I hate all girls vehemently.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
