My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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