So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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