Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
