How'd it feel making her break her religion?
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
