Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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