my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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