i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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