just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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