I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
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