I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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