So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize