Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
