Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
