My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize