Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Randomize
