oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
