You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
