dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I'm passing your future prison.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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