ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize