Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
