woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
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