I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
The Olympian is in my bed
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
