Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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