I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
