What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
