He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
