I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
