the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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