She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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