Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize