how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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