we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
