are you still at the devil's house?
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
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