We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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