did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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