Sponge bath it is.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
