we have officially lost it.
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
