this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
