Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
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