he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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