3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
