So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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