You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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