in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize