Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
