Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize