in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Randomize