if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
