around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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