I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
