I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize