i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
