how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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