whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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