I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Randomize
