He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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