She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
