I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
