Where is the hickey?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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