Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
