is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
