Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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