I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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