just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
